Why is grief for a pet so often underestimated?

Because it is disenfranchised grief — a loss that is genuinely felt but not socially recognised as warranting mourning — and that lack of recognition is itself part of what makes it hard.

Why the grief is genuinely intense:

Daily, physical presence. A pet is involved in the structure of every day — waking, meals, walks, coming home. The absence is encountered dozens of times a day, in a way that the loss of a person seen weekly is not.

Unconditional and uncomplicated attachment, without the ambivalence that frequently accompanies human relationships.

Dependency. You were responsible for them, which makes the loss feel like a failure of duty even when nothing was done wrong.

Euthanasia, which adds a decision to the grief. Most pet owners have had to choose the timing of a death, and the questions that follow — too soon, too late, was it really necessary — are a distinct burden that bereavement for humans rarely involves.

Witnessing the death, which is uncommon with people and usual with pets.

Why it is not socially supported. There is no funeral, no leave from work, no accepted rituals, and responses like "it was just a dog" or "will you get another?" communicate that the grief is disproportionate. Research on disenfranchised grief finds that unacknowledged loss is harder to process, not easier.

What tends to help:

Naming it as grief, rather than apologising for it.

Ritual — a burial, ashes, a photograph, a donation, planting something.

Talking to people who understand, including pet bereavement support lines, which exist and are staffed for exactly this.

Time before deciding about another animal. There is no correct interval, and the common advice to "get another one" is unhelpful if it is framed as a replacement rather than a new relationship.

Children should be told the truth, in plain words. Euphemisms like "put to sleep" or "gone away" cause confusion and fear, and children generally cope better with honest, simple explanation and inclusion in any ritual.

Other pets may react, and routine helps them.