What is the difference between a night terror and a nightmare?
They occur in different sleep stages, look completely different, and require opposite responses — which is why distinguishing them matters.
Nightmares are frightening dreams.
When: during REM sleep, which predominates in the second half of the night, so typically in the early hours.
What happens: the child wakes up, is fully alert, is frightened, and can describe what happened. They seek comfort and recognise you.
Afterwards: they usually remember it, sometimes for days, and may be reluctant to go back to sleep.
What to do: comfort, reassure, stay with them. Normal parenting applies.
Night terrors (sleep terrors) are a parasomnia — a partial arousal disorder — and are not dreams at all.
When: during deep non-REM slow-wave sleep, which predominates in the first third of the night, so typically within one to three hours of falling asleep.
What happens: the child may sit up, scream, thrash, sweat, breathe rapidly and appear terrified with eyes open — while remaining asleep. They do not recognise you, do not respond to comfort, and may push you away or become more agitated if you intervene. Episodes last a few minutes to around half an hour.
Afterwards: they typically settle back to sleep and have no memory of it at all the next morning.
What to do — and this is the counterintuitive part: do not wake them. Waking a child mid-terror causes confusion and distress and can prolong it. Stay nearby, keep them safe from injury, and wait. Do not discuss it the next day, which can create anxiety about something they never experienced.
Night terrors are far more distressing for the parent than the child, which is worth knowing.
Contributing factors: overtiredness (the biggest), irregular sleep, illness or fever, stress, and a full bladder. They run in families, peak around 3 to 7, and are usually outgrown.
Consistent sleep and avoiding overtiredness is the most effective prevention.