Is small talk actually useful?
Yes — and the reason is that its purpose is almost entirely social rather than informational, which is exactly why people who evaluate it on content find it pointless.
What small talk is doing:
Signalling safety and availability. A low-stakes exchange establishes that you are approachable and not hostile before anything substantive is attempted. Every culture has a version of this, which suggests the function is fundamental.
Phatic communication — the technical term for language whose purpose is maintaining social connection rather than conveying information. "How are you?" is not a request for a health report; it is a handshake made of words, and answering it literally is the classic misreading.
Testing compatibility cheaply. Before disclosing anything that costs you something, small talk establishes whether this person is worth it. Low risk, low investment, easy exit.
A necessary precursor to depth. Research on self-disclosure consistently finds that closeness develops through gradual, reciprocated disclosure. Attempting depth immediately usually fails, because the other person has no basis for reciprocating. Small talk is the on-ramp, not an alternative route.
Maintaining weak ties, which matter considerably — for information, opportunities and wellbeing.
Coordinating turn-taking and tone before a conversation that matters.
What the evidence says about the dislike of it. Studies have repeatedly found that people underestimate how much they will enjoy conversation with strangers and how much the other person will like them — the "liking gap". Experiments asking commuters to talk to strangers found participants expected it to be unpleasant and reported the opposite. The reluctance is a prediction error, not an accurate forecast.
Research on deeper conversation finds the same pattern: people expect substantive questions to be awkward, and consistently find them more enjoyable and connecting than anticipated.
How to make it less tedious:
Ask questions requiring more than a word, and follow up on the answer — follow-up questions are strongly associated with being liked.
Offer something slightly personal, which invites reciprocity.
Move on when it has done its job. Small talk is a threshold, and standing in it indefinitely is what people actually object to.